Self care for moms

In this post:

• Importance of self care as a mom
• Tips for self care without a support system

Self-care sounds like such a great idea until your three-year-old is knocking at the bathroom door when all you’re trying to do is pretend you’re at a spa. You might be reading this and like me you might also be a single mom. Some of you might be moms who have partners who just work a lot or some of you might have partners who (let’s be real) aren’t really helpful. Everybody’s situation in life is different and I’m not judging you, but I am here to tell you that prioritizing yourself and taking care of yourself, ultimately gives your kids a better version of their mom.

Taking care of yourself is not selfish I repeat, taking care of yourself is not selfish

For the last nine years of my life, my whole world revolved around my daughter and everything that came with motherhood. Don’t get me wrong, my world is 100% still revolving around my daughter, but the difference now is that I’ve made myself a priority. Self-care felt unrealistic especially because I didn’t have a support system. After a while, neglecting myself, and taking care of myself, made me resentful of my then partner. My therapist asked me a question that changed everything for me. She asked me why do you feel like you’re not deserving of those things? My answer was I am, so WTF am I doing?

Tips for self care without a support system

• Suelta the mom guilt. Let GOOOO of the mom guilt please. I promise you’re doing a beautiful job and you babies will still love you if you do something for yourself for a change. Sometimes that girl is really loud and it stops us from doing things, but girl you are worthy of a little self-care.
• Wake up earlier than the kids. This is something I recently started doing and it’s been a game changer for me. I’ve never been a morning person, but waking up before my daughte, sometimes before the sun comes out; doing some skin care in peace cleaning up my room with some noise, canceling headphones, girl trust me.
• If you’re not a morning person Put the kids to sleep early. this one’s a little difficult for me because we just be but they are where I’m like. You know me take a bath let’s wind down early you don’t have to go to sleep, but you cannot get out of your bed and your room unless you’re dying. i’m joking, but you cannot come out of that room unless somethings wrong like you don’t feel good or you gotta go potty.
• Screen time for breaks. My daughter has had an iPad since she was three. Before I was a mom I was like my kid is never going to have devices. Now? Yeah you know what I need a break I need a little minute to myself let’s wrap up what we’re doing and you can have a good 30 minutes of screen time. No shame. No shame at all.
• Be realistic. This is the one for me. On social media everybody is happy. Everybody has all this money to spend, to do all of these things, to book a vacation, to go to the spa. I am a single mom. I don’t have the time or the money to be doing all that. for me, self-care is skincare self-care is getting myself a good book self-care is splurging on some noise canceling headphones, so that I can chill out. although I did get a facial, it is OK for you to do those kinds of things for yourself. I don’t do those things often for myself, but when I do the load of stress that takes off my shoulders, I walk out of there like if I just got a new set of nails, a whole new woman.
• Live in the moment. I know I said being realistic was the one for me, but I take that back. Living in the moment is the one for me. what I mean by this is as a mom we’re so worried about the mess of being made while our kids are running around at home that we don’t have time to do anything for ourselves we drink cold coffee has been sitting up there and has been reheated for a couple hours because we’re too busy running after the kids are cleaning up messes. I’m gonna need you to stop that. drink your coffee while it’s hot. Your kids can wait drink your coffee while it’s hot. Let them make a mess. let them make a mess you sit and read your book. You can clean it later. We are busy living and being present, I’ll clean the mess when my kid goes to sleep.

Once I started to prioritize myself and do these little things for me, I realize I was happier I let go of resent. I walked away from a marriage that wasn’t offering anything but health insurance. (lol) and now I peacefully mother. I embrace motherhood on the good days on the bad days. I’m here for you I’m present I can be here for it. Why? Because I woke up and I did my skincare at six in the morning. I finished the book I wanted to finish we took a new trip to Barnes & Noble’s the two of us to spend quality time together. That actually was doing something for me and I included my child in. I can do that now because I started to prioritize, me and what I want and what I like and that babes, is self-care.

All this goes without saying, that this is what works for me. I’m a single mom and my support system is my mom who occasionally visits and my brother and his girlfriend who live across the country. I hope you find what works for you!

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